I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
