I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
