All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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