so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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