i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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