why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
