Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
