I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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