adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
