can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
