We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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