Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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