hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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