you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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