Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
