You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think your dad took our porno
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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