And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
