did you get engaged???
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
