Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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