So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
