My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
