"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
