Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
