i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
