totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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