If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
