rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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