I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
