I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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