I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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