This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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