it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
be right there i have to get my cape
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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