once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
