she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
