i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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