that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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