highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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