Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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