it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
