Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
