I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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