One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
