Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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