I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
