Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
