no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
