your parents love me but you hate me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
