Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
