so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
