That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
