Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
